Moving
Pictures
I fell into a day dream with my eyes open and saw the divorce.
Everything changed so fast. There were clues, but I didn’t want to see so I
didn’t and when it happened it was a conscious shock but I was unconsciously
prepared. An unknown force brought me into reality so, I closed my eyes so that
I can imagine favorable things. I saw the house. My parents had the house made
from the ground up and every weekend or so we would drive to Pennsylvania from
New Jersey to witness the progress. Then I would skip forward and imagine me
happy with my future husband. In this dream I thought about how we would never
divorce, only death would separate us. After all, if you stick with something,
it has no choice but to work. Love is everything. But my love had not yet
arrived. So, I’ll do as most single do and turn to movies.
It was chilly that day. That’s when I saw it. Dark brown eyes, fair skin, black
hair, and a stuck up posture to tie it all together. Joseph Gorden-Lev
played perfectly the character Jon in the movie Don Jon. A cocky gym rat
with the cutest, touchable black hair. Jon went on an odyssey until he
found her name. He did what most of us do when we want to search for someone,
he looked her up on Facebook and found her. A Facebook message: that’s all it
took. How romantic. He saw no other women because in his eyes, she was
the most beautiful. This women Jon was so infatuated with resembled myself. She
stood up straight, exuded confidence, and treated men just as I do. I was
engrossed by the moving pictures, It was exciting to know that this women, who
was like me in that scene had found someone to love her.
My step mother found love in an island. She told me her love
story. They knew each other as children. He told her that one day she would be
his wife and as they become older the prophecy came true. Not even distance
seemed to dim their passion for one another. When my father came home from his
weekday long trip, all three of us would compete for his hugs. I could hear his
voice “hola mi amor”, that’s what he would say to us. My father would give each
of us a hug and a wet kiss on our cheeks. He was home for the weekend. We would
clean the house and my step mother made dinner. We sat on the dinner table and
ate dinner together. My father made funny jokes and we laughed, he enlighten us
with his intelligence and we would watch movies together after dinner. Of course,
whose ever turn it was to wash dishes had to finish up before or after the
movie. Since we were professional procrastinator, all three of us would lay on
the carpet and our parents would lay on the couch, cuddling, while watching the
moving pictures.
We never got to watch that
movie “Up in the Air”. Nothing too interesting happened but, the ending
was what mattered. After her long trip from work she went home to her love. She
has such a busy life. Her husband is probably just as busy as she is. Just
because they don’t see each other as much as other couples do, does not mean
they do not care. Life is tough with many goals to be met. I began to add
on to the scene where she came home. I imagine that they only get a couple of
hours to dedicate to each other. When they do get to see each other I’m sure
they talk about the future and what they mean to each other. After they have
nothing more to say they would do as most companions do after. Unless passion
gets in the way then everything would be done in reverse. A few hours in the
night to catch each other up it’s all that’s needed. I can close my eyes and
imagine how fast life can suddenly become yet so slow while they talk and
listen. Like the earth took a break from its rotation those nights. But it
doesn’t and when they realize the earth kept on with its usual rotation, they
rush back into existence. Who needs more than that anyways?
My Step mother needed my father to work somewhere closer to home. We
lived in Pennsylvania and he was a truck driver in New Jersey. Since the nature
of his job required for him to travel, he didn’t feel the need to take a job
where the main office was closer to home. These conversations usually occurred during
dinner, family movie time, or our weekend shopping trip to Walmart. During
these conversations me and my sibling would begin to talk to each other about
pending subject or begin to joke around with each other until my step mother
would interrupt us by asking if we would like to have our father home more
often. We would always answer that we would like to have papi home more often
and quickly return to what we were doing previous to the interruption. The conversation didn’t last no longer than
thirty minutes. My father would end it by interrupting us and asking if we were
happy, if he was giving us everything we needed.
I got home on weekend and found a
missing door to the entrance of the garage. My brother was standing by and said
that papi had knocked it down forcefully. I asked why but he said he didn’t know.
All he knew was that our parents has argued and he ran downstairs from his room
and found the door on the ground. My sister joined us but we had little answers
therefore we stood around the empty space. Our father walked in with a drill
and screws and began to reattach the door. We looked at each other but did not
ask. The next week came and papi had come home with red roses. He gave each of
us our hugs and asked for our mother. We smiled and told him that she was
upstairs. We all went with him to witness the surprise on her face. At a blink
of an eye they began to argue. My father voice became loud; I held on to my chest.
He said that she had put the horns on him. A tear ran down my brother’s eyes
and the expressions on my sister’s face was nonexistent. My step mother responded
by saying that the other man made her feel like a women. He pushed her and
yelled and she punched him repeatedly with a forceful fist. They began to physically
fight each other. We froze but suddenly my younger brother took action and held
my father back. My sister and I eventually caught on and helped him. After an
hour of yelling and fighting, my father rushed out the house and soon after the
police appeared. My mother told them that she saw a gun. Later we found out that our father had been
arrested. To think a few weeks ago she wanted to spend more time with her
husband.
In the movie titled “He’s
just not that into you”, it explains that if a man does not want to spend time
with you then they are not into you. More importantly the movie says to take a man’s
words seriously; for example, if a man tells you that he does not want to be in
a relationship, it’s because he doesn’t. If he doesn’t want to be with you then
he’ll show it. The main character had been mistreated and yet she still was enthusiastic
about love. She wanted it more than anything and put up with the betrayals and
emotional abuse. What I did like about this movie is that the character did not
spend too much time on one guy as I would. She didn’t stay with one man for
four years until he decided to exchange her for another women; only to treat
this other women amazing. Ironically, towards the end of the movie she did find
a man that treated her different. Someone she least expected because he was a
friend.
It was late spring when I found out that one of my friends
graduated from medical school. I went on Facebook to congratulate him. He
responded promptly and after a few playful and funny interchange of messages, he
told me that he was moving out of the state. Memories of the past four years we
have known each other rushed into my conscious. My fingers took action and typed
“I can’t believe it, we should catch up before you leave”. He explained that he
was currently out of the state but when he returns he would like to catch up. I
received a notice a few day later of his arrival. Apparently, he had a question
to ask me but he needed my permission to ask it. I slowly typed my delayed
response, “Sure”. He asked if he could
take me out for dinner, on a date. My eyes
widen and I remembered to close my mouth. I gave another delayed response
and accepted.
I was two hours late, he
teased me via text about my incapability to be on time. Upon my arrival I sent
him a message. I saw him walking towards me. His blue eyes in the night widen
as he spotted me. I smiled at him and when our eyes met I redirected my stare
towards the pavement. I dared to look up again but this time he was much
closer. He smiled then looked to the side and went for a hug. We’ve made our
way to an Italian restaurant in Hoboken. Once we found our way, I couldn’t find
my words. He mentioned something about the weather and I looked out the window
and mentioned how beautiful the view of New York was. He replied by saying that
he was spoiled by it. He asked me if I was still teaching that dirty dancing I call
dance. I replied by saying that if he was referring to Zumba, then no. I went
on to say that it only seems dirty to perverts whose imagination sees what’s
not there. He laughed and we began to reminisce about old times we spent
together.
Work was stressful that day and I had stayed up the night before
writing a paper but he asked me on another date in advance and I accepted. We
took a cab to the restaurant. The night was a rainy one so we held on close
while sharing an umbrella, as we walked towards our destination. Upon arrival, I
stood still as he let go of my hands. He walked around the area before choosing
a table. Afterwards we went to a nearby movie theatre. I picked the movie Neighbors and he agreed. My eyes felt
heavy half way through the movie and I fell asleep on his shoulders.
After the movie, he said
to me “I have a serious question; I have this wedding to go to and I was wondering
if you could be my date”. I smiled and agreed. He held my hands and we walked
back to his apartment. We sat in the living room and watch another movie except
that we didn’t watch the movie at all. He teased me and we laughed and wrestled
until I we found ourselves face to face. I stared at his eyes as he stared at
my lips. He tilted his head and leaned towards me, I couldn’t help myself and
leaned in the rest of the way. We stopped only to stare at each other before
resuming. I pulled myself away and told him that I couldn’t sleep with him
because I’ve been hurt and I won’t repeat my mistakes. He scratched his head
and told me to only to do what I’m conferrable with because a kiss was enough. In
a soft voice and a stern look on his face he said, “You know, you don’t have to
date the bad guy, you’re a pretty girl and you don’t have to put up with that”.
The day of the wedding
was here and I had the perfect dress. We rushed to get there because we were
late. The wedding was held in a castle big enough to take a substantial amount
of time to explore. He introduced me by my name and one of his friend said “yes,
I’ve heard of you”. I turned my head straight towards him but saw his chest so I
looked up and he looked away. We collectively walked to our table. Several time
during the night he would take my hand and we would explore the castle
together. When we weren’t exploring we were dancing or sitting down with his
hands either on my knee or intertwined with mines. I felt I was suffocating him
so I branched off with the women. Before I could spot his location he had
returned. I looked back and saw his friends standing in a circle filled with laughter.
Since he returned I felt no need to be with
the girls and we sat at assigned empty table and played the ninja slap hand
game. Time past and our charter had arrived to take the wedding guest back to
the hotel. There didn’t seem to be much room and the driver asked if he would
like to sit in the front. He declined and explained that he wanted sit next to
his date. I attempted to point out the extra room in the back but he was too
engrossed by the conversation with the driver so I went to sit in the back in
hopes that he would follow. He looked back and didn’t see me. He asked the
known guest in the charter where I was and explained that he couldn’t leave his
date alone. A women pointed to the back and explained that there was room for
the both of us were I was sitting. He met me, sat down and held my hands. We
heard an older guest look back and say “how sweet”. We arrived at the hotel
room. There was only one bed. I went to the bathroom to change and when I returned
he was laying on his stomach, shirtless with his eyes closed. I noticed how fit
he was before turning off the lights and joined him. He put his arms around me
and kissed me. I told him that I didn’t want to do anything I would regret and
he said neither did he. I took a long breath and felt my muscles relax as I closed
my eyes only to open them when morning has arrived.
I texted him to say goodbye. He called a day after he had arrived
during late July. We talked about his future plans and mines and about his new
home. He laid out his schedule along with possible vacations which he would
spend going back home. He explained that he would not be back until November
for a few week and that it will be his only vacation for the year. I responded by
saying that it wasn’t too bad. I jokingly told him not to get creped out but
that if we had children they would be awfully attractive, he agreed and said I’m
going to be busy the next three years but the idea wasn’t bad. I laughed and
said goodbye.
I went to jog in Branch Brook Park during the month of October and
noticed the trees outside. Summer had ended and the leaf were dying with a colorful
goodbye. I stopped to stare at the trees and remembered when they were once
green some with flower, giving the tree a multitude of colors. Then I thought
about how the tree will be naked in the winter and only to be dresses by the
bright white snow. Spring would then arrive and the tree will again be green. I
closed my eyes and allowed myself to feel the fall breeze. I opened my eyes, took
a deep breath and ran the entire way back to my apartment. My father came over later
that week. He greeted me with a hug and a kiss. He brought food and we sat down,
talked and watched the news.
