Looking at the Mirror
There is nothing in the refrigerator to eat. I still had a
couple of dollars on me so I went to the store and bought some chips to eat. My
father came home that evening with some leftovers from his day. He offered it to me and I ate it happily. The
next morning I woke up early. I showered put on my blue yoga pants with the
peace sign printed on the side of the right leg and my sneakers. I needed my
hair to be out of my face so I made sure to pull it back into a pony tail.
After scanning my room I decided that I had all that I needed and walked out of
the apartment. I texted him that I was on my way. After 35 minutes I arrived to
my destination and used my keys to open the wooden door. My brother greeted me
and asked me how everything was. I walked towards the refrigerator without
answering. I’ve been away the past two
weeks so I haven’t gotten a chance to buy food. Are you hungry? Let go get
something to eat. I agreed so we went to our favorite Portuguese spot and I ordered
the fish sandwich. He asked me again, how are you doing? My response was, “I
don’t know, you left me there”. He told
me that he had to leave but he would not leave me alone. He felt bad that our
parents couldn’t put me through school as they did to him. But, that he had
landed a job in a prestigious company (fugi), the job required him to travel
most of the week but if I wanted I could move in with him.
Once I moved in my
brother had explained that I needed to find a job. The hunt for employment had
begun. Prior to my class I noticed a job post near the guidance office at Union
County College and I spotted an interesting ad. The YMCA was opening a gym in a
new location in the UMDNJ and were hiring receptionist. I took the NJ Transit
to the YMCA in Broad Street to hand in my application. To my surprise the
manager Alberto Velez called me for an interview. My hair was flat ironed and I
wore my flats with a black skirt accompanied by a white blouse. I was directed
towards a room, where I sat and waited along with other candidates. When my
name was called upon I entered the room and waited again for the manager to
arrive. He sat across from me and smiled. He said relax it going to be an easy
interview. He looked at my resume and asked about my past experience with
customer service, my education, fluency in Spanish, and why I wanted to work
for the YMCA. I landed the full time position as a receptionist and couldn’t be
more excited.
I went to Union County
College in the Elizabeth location and registered for the fall semester. I
decided to take twelve credits. I would wake up and go to work late morning.
The last step before leaving my apartment was to fill my book bag with text
books. The bus stop was located across from my apartment building in Newark NJ
and the bus took approximately 30 minutes to arrive at the UMDNJ (now Rutgers
School of Medicine and Dentistry), where the gym was located. Every morning I
would speed walk to the DOC building, walk to the elevator towards the second
floor, walk past the cafeteria, and follow the loud music towards the right of
the hall where the gym was located. After work I would run to the bus stop and
take the 34 bus to Broad Street. Then I would wait an hour for the 56 to Union
County College in the Cranford location. During the bus ride I would study for
an hour before finally arriving to my destination. By six I was in Union County
College and by nine I would take the 56 back to Newark where I would wait an
hour for the 34 and arrive home no later than eleven thirty. I would lay in my
bed and study until one before falling asleep.
Winter had come around. Winter had come around. I learned to
always carry extra gloves, hats, scarves, and umbrella in my book bag. Some
winter nights it would begin to snow. I would stand near the wall of the
building with my hands in my pockets near the crowd. These sort of days were
the delay days. I would walk to the stop near Essex County College because it
had a seat near a shadow. Other days it would rain in the cold weather. One
those days I took the bus I had no choice but to walk to the stop near Essex
County College and wait. My brother wasn’t home so I called him to tell him how
my week went. He told me that I should call papi and ask him to buy me a car.
After all, he was still filling for me as and dependent because I was not old
enough to file for financial aid as independent. I followed his advice and
asked papi for a car and he said yes. My brother had explained that the
apartment was 750 dollars and the electricity came out to 40 dollars and the
cable was approximately 120 dollars so that 400 would be okay with the
exception that I pay half of the grocery bill. Now I had money to pay for my
phone, food and my part of the rent.
Two years past and my
grades were suffering. I called my father and insisted that he give me the
money to buy me a car because I wasn’t receiving income tax return. He told me
he would but, I stopped him mid conversation and said that I was tired of words
and wanted action. I went to visit his friends more often and told all of them
how papi was going to buy me a car. They weren’t surprised, he was a good
father to me after all they said. He finally agreed to give me 2,500 and I put
2,500 of my own and bought my first car, a red 2001 Honda Civic. I asked my
brother about insurance and he suggested that I go to small insurance company
in Linden and get the minimum coverage because the insurance he has would be
too expensive. He also spoke to me about the gas. He said that it would take 30
dollars to fill the tank and that should last me the week if I only traveled to
school, work and home. Mami was worried about me being on the road. She lived
in Barcelona, Spain and worried from far away.
The gym closed down and all I had were my savings. I walked
into the apartment and heard my father’s voice. I looked and it was my brother’s
voice instead. He was speaking to my mother. He told her that he did not have a
say in my birth and that it was unfair for him to pay my bills. Later he
knocked on my door and told me that my mami would be paying my half of the rent
until I found a job. A few days later I heard him speak to my mother. He told
her that it would be easier if she sent my half of the rent to the Dominican
Republic for his girlfriend. I called my mother to ask her and she told me that
she was not making much but would try her best to help me.
I went to the
Elizabeth Board of Education and asked the secretary if I could have an
application for substitute teaching. She looked at me with a smile and gave me
a one and a half inch packet with instructions and papers to be filled out and
returned. I followed the instruction carefully and filled out the paperwork. I
returned with all that was asked and waited a few weeks to meet with Enrique
the person who dealt with the substitutes. He gave me my certificates. I waited
a week and I had no call so I went to staples and ordered business cards. I
asked my brother to take me to Elizabeth. We went to eight school and the next
day I was substituting at a prekindergarten. Later a secretary by the name of
Zina called me and asked if I could sub for the day. After the day was over
Zina called me over and said “Gurl, don’t you go anywhere else tomorrow we want
you here. Ever since then I went to work at Nicolas De la Corte every morning
and every morning I was placed in a classroom.
I was making more than I was at the gym and my mother has
moved to the states. I and my brother took care of the bills until my mother
could find a job. We got a bigger apartment because my now in law was also
coming the states. The day after the move my brother gave me a list. The list
had money that I had owed him. 1,000 for the rent deposit, 100 for groceries, 50
for the move in crew, 30 for some medicine when I was sick and so on. A few months later we went to visit our aunt
house in Pleasantville New Jersey and I heard my brother having a conversation
with my aunt. He said that I was lucky to have a support system like him.
According to my brother the only reason I was able to go to school was because
he helped me, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to do it on my own.
Alone, I sat in my
room and stared at my wall. I closed my eyes as salty water fell from my face
only to be wiped away. What point was there to cry? I remembered that the girlfriend
of my brothers cleaned homes for a living and she made 1,500 weekly doing so. I
could buy a route but I would risk losing customers. So, I sat and let the tear
flow a little longer before I walked over to the living room where my brother
was and asked for her number. I made a website, registered my business, and
made business cards to pass out. I asked a friend if he was willing to help me
pass flyer in exchange of a fifty dollars and he agreed. We went to approximately
two hundred homes. The same week I got a phone call and landed my first client.
Later I received a refund check. I called my brother over and asked him to cash
the check, to take what I owed him and to give me back what was left.
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